Holiness

From Hudson Taylor's biography, where John McCarthy quoted from Christ is All - "The Lord Jesus received is holiness begun; the Lord Jesus cherished is holiness advancing; the Lord Jesus counted upon as never absent would be holiness complete."

"This (grace of faith) is the chain which binds the soul to Christ, and makes the Saviour and the sinner one... A channel is now formed by which Christ's fulness plenteously flows down. The barren branch becomes a portion of the fruitful stem... One life reigns throughout the whole."

Is that her?

Aajaan Mon Tha...

Heard her voice over an online news radio for Thailand today, searching for her dog Nam Waan... I was excited to hear her voice, yet... i was sad...sad that Nam Waan is lost. (Bessie our host missionary who was in Singapore for 2 weeks, had told us that Nam Waan was lost a few days ago.)

I think she misses her Nam Waan. Her companion. Yet, she still places her trust in Phra Jaaw (God). Can't fully understand what they were talking about except bits and pieces here and there... still... i'm quite sure it is her searching for Nam Waan. Is she also using this opportunity to share God's love? I wanna know what they're talking about in full! sigh...

Hope she finds Nam Waan safe and sound...

Music to His ears

We were impressed by this drum set. The drum, together with a few pairs of pieces of wood, were made and played with exuberance and such joy by the members of one of the churches we went to in Thailand. So what if we don't have "proper" instruments? God gave us gifts to give him praise and honour. He gave us voices to sing, words to express, rhythm (no matter whether it's only 2 beats or off-beat etc), gave us creativity and resourcefulness, and a heart of thanksgiving. May it all be music pleasing to Him...

Thailand delicacies

Fat, round, long, small, large, black, yellow, brown, off-white... take your pick. They're cooked, crispy and things you hardly find in Singapore as a snack. Need sauce to complement the taste? Sure... How much? 10-20 baht.

Aah... well... our dear leader Delia was super onz about us trying it. But we didn't in the end. =P Maybe next time bah. haha... Anywayz, little Hannah our host missionary's daughter recommended the long, off-white, worm-like one.

Updates on MEETHAI

From an email sent out, here's an extremely summarized update of my trip to Thailand =)

General items:

It was a good trip... ate lots of fruits and was very memorable. Our team grew closer, and we got to know Alan, Bessie and Hannah, our hosts who made our stay most pleasant and homely, and Tammy their dog.

Ministry:

Our main ministry there was teaching English at 3 schools. However, high up on the agenda was MEETINGS - prayer meetings, cell group meetings, leadership meetings, missionary prayer meetings and ad hoc meetings. So it is very much of "building up the Church" ministry. As for sharing the gospel and testimony, it was done during church services, meetings, whilst teaching, and to people we met. So, we learned that it can be done anytime, anywhere, to different groups of people.

Most useful tool:

Alan's car. The amount of time we spent on the road (tarmac, concrete and/or dirt) and through stretches of less accessible places made us grateful for the car and being able to squeeze into it!

Most common sights:

Small towns, vast stretches of agriculture fields, dots of wooden-zinc 'open-air' houses, dogs, temples, altars, spirit houses and urns, and pictures of royalty along the streets and in every household.

THE PEOPLE

Missionaries & Full-time workers:

Aajaan Mon tha - A local, a full-time worker and has a cute dog named Naam Waan whom she often leaves at Alan's, has become dear to us as we see her very often. Her home is also used as Salok Bat Church.

WEC missionaries - Laura, Stephen, Danny, Corni, Alan, etc. They've been in Thailand for quite a number of years and many of them are going on "fellow", some kind of break. They seek to work with the believers and prepare/train the believers to study the God's Word, bring people to Christ and less dependent on the missionaries.

Believers - Mostly women... and they wonder: Where have all the MEN gone?? Most are not highly educated, work in the fields, sell things in the daalad (market), or are house-helpers. Passionate, hospitable people, they worship the Lord in the most unique of ways. Even though one church doesn't have instruments, that doesn't stop them from singing praises unto Him! (They made their own instruments)
However, one concern is whether they really know the Lord. Many of the new believers are not regular attenders too.

Wit Lai - leader of a church, young and knows a bit of English. Works in the field for 5 days. When we went to her cell group on 2 occasions, the only people attending apart from us were her father and 4/5 year old half-sister. She was discouraged. Reasons given: No transport/late at night, not feeling well, just not going... very familiar reasons.

Teachers and students - Students ranged from primary school to secondary school, some even 19 years old! Really enjoyed trying to communicate with them after the lessons, though it's quite difficult understanding each other. Not sure how much of the gospel message they understood... but am encouraged that believers heard of Jesus Christ since young so it's like seeds being planted... The teachers also heard, one was even interested...

Prayer:

1) Thank God for the work there, the workers and the believers.
2) Thank God for the local leaders eg Aajaan Mon tha and Wit laai He has raised up.
3) Pray for the hearts of those who've heard the gospel, that they'll come to accept Christ as their personal Lord and Saviour.
4) Pray that the believers will be able, willing and bold in sharing the gospel and doing follow-ups.
5) Pray that Wit Laai will not feel discouraged but find strength and encouragement in Him.
6) Pray for more male believers and that they'll be more active in service as well.
7) Pray for wisdom and sensitivity of the leaders and missionaries as they have to handle quite alot of "people problems".
8) Pray for sincere love amongst the people coz Thais are "polite" and may not show their true feelings.
10) Thank God for safety of the team.

The crying...continued.

She was indeed pregnant... but what i heard happened was that she was possessed. hmmm... this reminds me of how i was scared of being possessed by some evil spirit. I think i stressed myself out by thinking about that. Couldn't do anything about that fear. Tried seeking comfort from my family, being in the midst of lotsa people, switching on all the lights, playing music, switching my brain to "don't think about it" mode... but well, it still didn't help. I was still super scared. And it isn't a good feeling... to be helpless, sleepless, and totally preoccupied by this fear that had become possessive in itself.

What's most devastating then, is being so fearful and trying to be in control of my life, mind and situation. Where is God then? Where have i placed Him in all my emotions? As a back up i suppose... when all else fails...

Yes, indeed when all else fails, i know that He doesn't fail... if only we put our trust in Him. For it wasn't until i learnt that God is the most powerful, with Jesus Christ being the living example of how the evil spirits feared him and how he's had victory over them and death, that i started to put my trust in God regarding this matter. Whatever my fears, i tell it to him... and he comforts me.

Just like this time, when i encountered such an incident, i was erm actually fearful... until he reminded me of his love, and to have faith in Him...

Tis me of little faith...

Blood curdling cry

Oh dear, oh dear... was in school early at 0815... all was well til a loud, uncontrollable cry made me jump out of my seat on the bench. i packed my bag, and tried to find the source of the crying. i found it when i saw a no. of pple gathered around a place upstairs. the lady/girl was crying non-stop. she sounded in real pain. how, how, how?? should i go up and look too? i paced up and down. i went on a detour, trying to get a closer look. but i couldn't...the crying only got louder and louder. i didn't dare go any closer. argh. i'm such a scaredy-cat. as i listened, her crying sounded a little breathless, hmmm is she giving birth or something??? i pray n hope it is the reason... hmmm but then my friend who came in later said she didn't see any ambulance/hear anybody crying... is she okie already?

near or far, the problem still exists

Finally... went out to do a survey! Out of the comfy chair n air-conditioning and into a windy-dust and noise-filled environment...knocking on doors... it's an experience!

Why? coz No. 1, do you know how much dust you are breathing into your lungs?! One lady said our lungs must be as black as anything with all ze particles trapped inside eww... No. 2, you get to meet interesting people. Yes, I do miss Thailand and the people but we do get to meet all kinds of people right here in Singapore too. I'll just give one example which is utmost in my mind right now.

knock knock knock... down the block we went... and then we came to this flat. Someone was vacuuming the floor. I could hardly hear myself above the loud roaring of the traffic and vacuum cleaner. Just inside the door was an altar with some kind of picture and incense and some other things. Two wooden masks hung on the wall at the sides, and a wooden statue of a man with a spear along with toys and a porcelain cat stood at the foot of the altar. My friend and I rang the doorbell and finally, the vacuum cleaner stopped. A grim looking man, topless with tattoos of the picture mentioned above, came out, opened the grille door and beckoned with his hands for us to enter. My friend and I looked at each other. Seemed like there was no choice... my friend, a guy, entered and sat on the sofa looking apprehensive. We decided that i shouldn't go in so i erm gave a weak excuse that i'm going to knock on other doors. =P So i hid away from the door peeping in at times =P My other friends later joined me outside. And boy, did we wait! That man talked with my friend for about an hour! There are details I think it not wise to add in here but anyway my friend later came down with a Lee Kuan Yew biography and told us that that man's actually okie and quite nice (apologising for scaring me), but very wary of salesmen/women even going to extent of chasing them all the way out of the block. He also showed my friend the extremely close proximity of the block to the road and the difficulty in counting the number of vehicles passing in a minute. He also said he kept child spirits hence the altar, toys and the tattoos. He was praying during the visit, and i heard the ringing of a bell. He had 2 adopted daughters who left him after graduation.

Sigh... I knew it would be something like this, seeing from the altar. As i was standing outside, i was thinking of my friend and the man inside. Of the altar. I couldn't help but think the man is a devote spirit worshipper and there being a stronghold in that house. But I remembered that God is the greatest, the sovereign one. He is more powerful than any other thing. I started singing quietly "He is the King of kings... the Lord of lords...", "Joy is the flag flown high..." , "my God is so big..." hmm now that I've typed it down, I realise that these are some of the songs i held dear as a child. Not knowing what to do, standing there, i prayed that he too will come to know the Lord...

Now, i remember something i wrote in the morning: that one of the things I learned in Thailand is that God's grace extends to all nations, all people.

So too, this man.

BORED

Sigh i'm real bored... staring at ze journals all day long trying to squeeze something outta them juz makes my eyes squeeze shut too. Really miss the people and environment of Salok bat... and my team mates and host missionaries too. sigh... as i stare at my journals i wonder... if only i'm there in the midst of all the goings on! Then again, since i'm back here missing a whole week's worth in Thailand, i should be making full use of my time yar...okoie i'll go back to my readings til the clock strikes and my head pounds and my stomach growls.

Anywayz, shall try to post things about the trip soon. just feeling soo lazy to do anything with the computer... one of the good things about the trip is i learnt not to depend too much on the comp! heheh... okiez. laterz.

Beautiful day

Went to East Coast Park today with my 5 friends from my MEET team. It was a beautiful day especially in the morning. =) As we had our time of reflection, 3 things came to mind... and so i'll try to record the adventure of the coconut, the wave breaker, and the sand.

The Coconut

Float...float...float... in the vast body of water, there it was floating away.

It started from where i sat and the last i saw of it, it had migrated all the way to the other side of the wave breaker. Just floating away... was amazed at how it could keep afloat amidst the turmoil of the water. Wondered if we can keep afloat in our own times of turmoil, trials and difficulty... Then... zap! A thought came to mind why not? Just as God created the coconut with the ability to float, He has given us things like faith and the Word that will help us keep afloat!

The wave breaker

Crash! Swirl... Crash! Swirl... Crash! Swirl...

Endless waves beating against the rock. Chipping away the weaker parts, creating a shape out of the rock. Question came to mind: are we constantly being molded and shaped as the parts to be chipped away are chipped through the many things in our life? As i stared at the swirling waves, i got alittle scared that i'll fall in haha... and even doubted the stability of the rock! What if the core is weak and falls apart as i sit and stare? bleah. i'll be islanded. So too, our exterior may be tough and sturdy, but are our core and foundation sturdy and stable too?

The Sand

Had fun... and relief... drawing and writing pictures and words... of emotions, concerns and things that come to mind with a smooth slim and flat stone good for sketching in the sand... and letting the waves wash them away... leaving a clean sketchboard. Walked along the beach and as i looked back, I saw my footprints in the sand washed away. It reminded me of how He has washed me clean with his blood, and lifted my burdens.

Thoughts in d wee hours

Been spending these 2 days out/at home with my mom.

Was good just hanging out.

I know she and my dad are worried for my safety as I go on a trip to Thailand next tuesday. It will be one of the few times I'm away without them for such a long time. What's more, the recent spate of events and reports does not make Thailand a very safe place... However, they still are letting me go... not because they don't have a say, not because they are confident nothing will happen to me... but because they trust that God is sovereign... It is a difficult thing... especially for my mom... but I thank the good Lord that she has come to accept and trust... perhaps opening up to her about what i'm doing helped.

As some of you know, i'll be going to Northern Thailand with 5 other friends as part of a Missions, Education, and Exposure Training programme that i've been in for the past 8-9 mths. It's been an experience i'll never forget. Times of low, anguish, anger, confusion, lostness... many times i felt like giving up. However, thankfully God showed me the times of joy, love, encouragement, learning, learning and learning... showing me more of Him, more of me. He helped me persevere... even when i'm tired, weak and helpless. I was busy. But He helped me through.

Now, through this last lap of preparation, many things have yet to be finalised and packed. Our hearts... are also in chaos i think... yeah... if we've gotten all prepared...have our hearts been prepared and ready for the trip? I dunno... but I'm thankful for the prayers... and I trust... though faltering at times, that God will protect our hearts... and He will see all things that work for His good, through.

It's early in the morning, and all's quiet... i'm sleepy... and i'm typing pretty spontaneously. =P

Oh yeah... never expected that in all these, i've to find out more about Singapore too... of which i'm too tired to read the details about thaipusam, vesak etc etc... shall try to squeeze in some time for that heh

Lizards

They have 4 legs with pad-like toes.

They scale walls.

They flicker their long slim tongues.

Most of those that we see are beige and a little translucent.

They are the lizards!!!!

Funny creatures, them lizzies...

They can be found in the most unexpected places.

They are swift in entering doors...

But leaving... is another matter all together =P

Past experiences with them:

1) Smashed on the door frame where the hinges are. bleah. 2 together???? ooph!

2) Had to chase 1 outta d fridge sigh n the cleaning up...

3) Staring contest in the bathroom hmphz terrible. I lost!

4) Their wriggly tails representing them...

Juliana from my course once related a story on her adventure with a lizard... and she sounded real excited, capturing its every movement..til it jumped off the wall. =P I can't remember the name she gave it though.

Have you heard the sound it makes? When all's quiet and cool... hear the sound of the lizard and you know... you've got company. =)

Music to my ears

Had the privilege of sitting around
Whilst the world outside goes round
So engrossed was I
In the TV box world lie
That I was oblivious
To the rain that had come and gone...obvious
Of course... to the birds
Who've come out in search
Of worms, fruits and tummy filling food

Tired from all the eye exercise
I turned my eyes
Instead to the world outside
And boy, were the birds right!
The greens, the wet road, the smell of fresh air
It should have long ago brought me outta my sofa chair

As I listen to the chirpings and songs so cheerful and bright
I was reminded afresh of yesternight
Of songs sung by the people of Mien
Beautiful voices echoing their love and gratitude for this one man
A God who found them first
And saved them from the curse
Though we spoke different languages
We were the same in that we all had God's love in us

Which made me think
Of all the languages in the world more than memory brings
So many...
So so many!
And just from one specie
What about the others in nature's beauty?
If I'm gifted in speaking in tongues
Then I want to speak in the many tongues
Of people with these beautiful words
So our love can reach them too with His Word

The creeper  

The creeper

Had quite a bad day yesterday...

Woke up feeling in need of sleep...

Had a growing headache...

Really moody on the whole =P

Felt bad being moody.

Think i did badly for my 2 papers.

Really down...
and shouldn't be posting any blogs right now...

But then, thought i'll just share a quick one on what happened at the end of the day...

Felt better after pouring my self-centered woes to God haha terrible.

But what really struck me and quietened me was what i read in my fav book.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things...

Indeed, my heart and mind have been guarded from many a frail thought.

Despair.

Self-pity.

And much more.

I have been strengthened. comforted. lifted from the depths. Today, i remembered my life. Today, i am thankful. Thankful for seeing me through all my life, through good and bad times. He has been holding my hands and not let them go... even when i wasn't aware of it!

At the end of my life, i wanna say that i have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

I am like the creeper which i saw the other day, clinging on to my life support from whom i can climb to see the light.

Be comforted.

a ray of light? 

Where's the line?

The light bulb in my room is getting dimmer...

I know it's gonna blow sooner or later!!!

Hmm light... doesn't seem to be very enduring does it?

Even the sun whom we've all known for AGES seem to be dying or so they say.

Light... and darkness...

It's always either or...

Or is it?

Then what's the meaning of my room light getting dimmer...? (my vision getting worse in any case)

Doesn't that mean there is a variation of light and darkness?

Like a light-o-stat or whatever they call it =P

Which brings me to the question of the day...

Where, oh where, is the line between light and darkness?

I never could tell...

Until it is pitch black or amazingly bright!

So I conclude.

There is no line between the light and the dark.

There is just light increasing in brilliance, penetrating darkness til all is bright and clear...

OR darkness creeping up...til light is engulfed and all is dark. (or as they say...light slowly dimming away til light is absent)

Yeap and so the light is out:

1) never depend on artificial lights - they'll blow up on ya

2) there is no line___________________________

3) light is better than darkness. oooh what beautiful things we can see in the light!

4) always depend on light which lasts. no rechargeable batt, no energizer, no ballasts... only... the one and only... eh no... the sun's dying remember? well for me...i've found the one light which i'm confident will last forever - my Lord and God. coz He was around before the sun was up. in fact, it was He who created it!

Imagine...