Carry me

God has called me to lift my eyes to Jesus & press on to my home in
heaven.. But while I'm waiting for my saviour Jesus who clothed me
with glory... Oh i am filled with weakness.. Oh I forget my way..
Carry me in your arms cover me with your shelter.. lift me up so I
can see give me eyes that seek your face..

Lord, as the song says, we are weak.. But i know you are strong & have
overcome.. We forget our way but you are our guide.. We find it hard
to trust in others & ourselves.. For it is a life full of failure that
we see. But lord, lift our eyes to you that our hearts & minds be
unswerving.

No point...

It's ironic that my name's filled with intonations of the grace & gift
of God.. When I so often find it hard to be thankful to Him for my
existence.

What's the point of existing when I'm not a colourful person? Often
giving people awkwardness as to what to say or converse with me. How
hard I try to be fun & full of words that flow out of my mouth but the
words just don't? What's the point of trying to make the other
comfortable when i'm in turmoil inside? Maybe it's just me.. Maybe
there's no point.. Maybe... I should just be a hermit. Maybe I
shouldn't have existed.

What's the point of living when there's no fun & nothing to do? When
everything seems meaningless? What's the point of being with someone
you don't enjoy? No point..

But why God? Why? Why did you make me such? Why do I have to go thru
things normal girls don't? Why can't I be like the popular girls with
lots of admiration & whose lives seem perfect? I'm tired of trying to
carry my burden after all these years. I'm tired of having to be like
those girls. I'm tired of trying to be steady & dependable. I'm tired.

Trapped

Plans have been made, tickets booked, conferences arranged & wedding
invitations sent. Life in this fast paced & high tech age is all of
one word: efficiency. All planned & done in clock-work precision.

The volcano decided to erupt, spewing forth massive cloud dust of ash.
The earth decided to rumble & crack, tumbling buildings that were
meant to be secure. The waves decided to become monstrous & swallow
everything in its way.

What can we say but that all the prevention & precaution of man & all
our planning is still subject to many unforseen circumstances? Can you
say that you'll be around tomorrow? That life on earth will still be
the same years ahead? Will Jesus Christ come tomorrow or will he not?
What man plans & presupposes, no matter how great man & his inventions
may be, is still subject to God. What foolishness & pride have we that
we plan & predict the future but give no weight to what we've been
clearly shown. The christ who is the turning point in history.

But what then is the meaning of life & the gift of man to work,
create, procreate, plan & use his gifts? If nothing is within our
control? Be shrewd therefore, & put all these to good use whilst
waiting for him to return. Be alert & know that he may come at any
hour. Live, not die, for he came to seek & save the lost & call the
living from the dead. For grace he has shown & by grace we must live.
Not as the dead who think they can control their lives, but as the
living who live with bated breath waiting for all to be made
perfect... In his time.

Vanity

Living in vain with nothing to gain.
Nothing can I add or minus to make me less a pain & living less in vain.
Why live & live it up to the max when nothing in my hand I can contain?
My own thoughts & tongue like fire uncontained?
Have mercy on me my Lord you who have made it plain.
Your grace & wisdom I cannot phantom but you've shown your mercy all
the same.
Everything in your hand is contained.
My living without you is all in vain.