Decisions

Decisions, decisions... so difficult to make... can anything be easier than deciding that Christ be my Lord and Saviour?

IF... then...

why do Christians who claim to have the one true way get embroiled in disagreements and unhappiness, and do not seem to be united in their faith? i suppose.... non-christians often wonder and conclude that this Christian faith is no different and nothing much afterall... it is really sad that as people who've come to know and accepted Christ as our Lord and Saviour, we often do not reflect what Christ has done in our lives...

i'm often guilty of not reflecting Christ in my life, and perhaps even caused people distress and to stumble. sigh... If we've really accepted Jesus Christ as the ruler of our lives, then why do we still seem to live our lives our way?

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out ouf selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus..." Philippians 2:1-5

Do not worry

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew6:33-34

Estimated cost of this week

i seemed to be pretty busy this week with high project time cost.
what was the rate of output? hmm difficult to calculate. perhaps some molehills were crossed.

had quite a high percentage wastage, variation cost, and unexpected profits along the way.

to obtain help from pple, one must play the waiting game. to wait patiently... and wait... and wait. yawnz... oooh and must still have the up-beat smile and appreciation. tt's the rule of the game. i was reminded of it this week. don't give up! perseverance pays!???

restful nightly sleep... but why do i still go into deep naps (short but deep) in d middle of the day? i think i did that at least 3 times this week. =P

loong project hours... r we on the right track?

our group got shot down during tutorial. sigh... one must always not be demoralised. are we really that incompetent? does one have to 'de-sensitivise' so as to come out stronger rather than melt in d heat? is there such a thing as being moulded - stronger, better, and retaining the feeling? know wat i mean?

during the wait, got to talk to a friend a little more... it was good... was quite excited tt i could share a little of my faith and thoughts coz my friend's a non-christian and it's always exciting when they ask without me initiating... yes? hehehe... though hmm i seemed stuck for 'godly advice' again. it's as though my brain has this cabinet with a particular theme but in it is a jumbled mess and it is futile to search last min. i must ponder over it more with the Word. profit or loss?

another friend asked me whether i must go to church every week... hmm wow... but hardly got to elaborate. next time bah...

projects... can bring out the best and the worst in you... people watch. people listen. people form opinions. what will we be in their eyes? when working styles clash/unhappiness arise, where do you stand? when people become fed-up and complaint, what do you say? or do you keep quiet? will you join in? when competition arises, will you only look out for your group's interest?

"But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. We have confidence in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we command. May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance" (2 Thessalonians 3:3-5)

doubting d.

a non-christian friend recently asked me if i'm going for any camps or what during the recent 4-day break. i laughed and asked if i always seem to be going for camps and stuff - underlying meaning between the 2 of us was 'christian stuff'. yeah well... heh i always seem to be busy with 'christian stuff'... perhaps my nc friends have been thinking either that i'm erm very uh-hmm religious or crazy being so busy doing things other than studying, projects, bgr, etc etc... i dare not say i'm religious partly coz it somehow implies that i'm working towards being right with God which i can never be except for His grace and mercy, and mostly coz well... i'm not hhaha... i can be eeevil as those who've seen that side of me will testify, and if doing lotsa christian stuff = religious, then i'm far short of that haha... as those who know how i refuse rather stubbornly (coz i dun wanna do it coz of pressure and etc) to do many things will nod their heads to. sigh... =P

and yes. sometimes i think i'm crazy doing things other than wat those in sch would be doing... and no... i'm not an alien! i do lotsa stupid things tt i regret but well argh tt's not the point. i'm really incoherent today.

but really, y do we do all that we do when everything will end one day? manz... it can be awfully bleak when u think abt it. slogging... straining... loving... hurting... etc n then it's over as though whatever ever happened was nothing. i would like to think (no please... don't shut ur heart...) that there's this hope of living eternally in d most awesome of place, with like-minded pple, with d most majestic person - d I AM... becoz of what I AM had done for us.

hmm if i'm really so onz/committed/passionate abt the faith i so profess, then... why don't i actively initiate communication abt God, sin, love, salvation, etc? why do i lack the courage or if i do have d courage i doubt what i've said, and its impact on pple? i've heard many times abt the various ways to share the gospel, why we should, and even been part of various activities/events/groups which aim to do tt. but still, how often do i talk about d gospel, what role God has played in my life, and brought nc to church? truth is, God has already provided me with lotsa knowledge and opportunities to share the gospel. more importantly, He has provided me with Himself. but many times i doubt my capability and credibility - juz like Moses who was reluctant to do what God wanted him to do (exodus 3-4). i fret that not only wat i say is not good enough/convincing/impactful, but tt my listener will reject me and worse - God. sigh... i also wonder when is the 'best time' but well, anytime is a good time... i guess... if i look out for it... hmm or will i say as Moses said, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it."? please Lord, forgive my doubting self, forgive me for doubting You...

will i trust that God will help me speak and teach me what to say?

will i trust in Him who has been given all authority in heaven and on earth? will i go share d gospel?

He said, "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (matthew 28: 20)