Can I change?

I've been reading a book titled "You Can Change" by Tim Chester. My reading has been slow. I was drawn to this book as its title sounds like a self-help book which one can find in a good bookshop. Though I knew that this was a Christian book about God's transforming power as the sub-title is quick to qualify, I wanted to know how different this book is from the books I've read on similar topics like this. I was skeptical... "Can the leopard change its spots?" "Do we have the ability to change?" "How come Christians claim to be changed by having Christ in their lives but there seems to be little changed for the better?"....

This book is relatively easy on the eye and easy to read. However, with many real life experiences and encounters the author brings to mind the realities of sin in each one of us. He drives home the seriousness of sin starting from how mankind has broken and distorted the image of God by his rebellion against God. He then builds up the glory and power of God in restoring man's relationship with him through his son Jesus Christ, the goodness and sufficiency of God that we need not fear or look else where apart from God for sufficiency. Tim Chester also puts forth the importance of community in helping one another live in obedience to God. There are many other points in the book which I recommend you to read.

Even as I read this book these past few months, I am constantly faced with the struggles in my life just as before. I still sinned, I still trudged and stumbled, I still questioned why I can't seem to change. It was very frustrating!! But just as the book isn't a self-help book where it is guaranteed that our lives will be changed dramatically, it was a constant reminder of how much we need Christ, why we can't run away from sin or God, why we can't hide sin, why it is God whom we ought to fear and find sufficiency in, and why God has given us a community of believers to support and encourage each other as we run this rugged trail run of a race! It was comforting to be reminded that just as Christ has set us free from the clutches of death, he has the power to make us more like him.

The recent chapters which are more vivid to my mind now since I've just read them, focused on how we can support one another in changing. Here are two exerpts which sorta stuck in my mind today.

"You are guilty, but Christ has borne your guilt. You deserve God's judgment, but Christ has borne your judgment" - An accountability with a fellow brother or sister who can speak the truth in love and yet not judge or despise you but points you in the direction of Christ for the restoration of your relationship with God.

"The pious fellowship permits no one to be a sinner. So everybody must conceal his sin from himself and from the fellowship. We are not allowed to be sinners. Many Christians are unthinkably horrified when a real sinner is discovered among the righteous. So we remain alone with our sin, living in lies and hypocrisy. The fact is that we are sinners." - How true. How often do we build a barrier around ourselves as we try to put on a front especially to fellow christians for fear of the judging eyes and wagging tongues? But how are we then to change if we pretend that there's nothing wrong with us? How are we therefore recognizing our sinfulness and how truly we must repent of our sin? Can we reach out to people in our community, love them just as Christ loved us, recognizing the sin, struggle with them as they struggle with sin, and point them to the healing grace of Christ's death on the cross? Just as Tim puts it aptly in his blog, I would rather be part of a church that is "messy" with all the problems to struggle with on the up front with nothing to hide, than with a church that seems to be neat and clean on the surface but messy inside (I think it's may not just be messy... but barren coz there is just no life!)

Will you run this race with me as we go through the ups and downs of this rugged real life trail run? Will you point out the faults in me with love? Will you remind me of God's grace and love magnified in the life, death and resurrection of Christ? I want to change - because I know that I have died and my life is hidden with Christ in God. I want to be a true Christian changed by the power God. Not one who spouts meaningless/worthless words and lives a life of hypocrisy.

Help me dear God...

What is love?

You ask what is love?
A feeling, a duty, a commitment or a dove?
I cannot give you an answer
For I scarce know what love is, my living shows my answer.

A myriad explosion of the elements of love,
My feeble answer to the question on love.
Passion, heat, sparkle in the eyes;
Care, concern, gentleness, steadfastness 'til one dies;
Responsibility, forgiveness, wise actions;
Longing and sharing portions.
The list goes on...but what is love?

So I ask my Father in heaven above,
"What is love?"
"Look at my Son, in whom I delight for He has shown you great love.
Through His obedience to the cross, His blood paid to show you my grace.
His prayer for your sanctification is also a guarantee of my love and grace."

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
It does not rejoice at wrong-doing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love - because Christ has shown you great love.
Love - because Christ's love abounds and overflows in you through the Holy Spirit.
Love - because God desires us to love Him by showing others His love.

The Fear of the Lord is Worthy to be Praised

One of the scars I have from young is that of not being pretty or beautiful... Or at least that's what I heard somebody tell me in my adolescence and what I've thought of myself in comparison to others. In one instance, it has caused me to seek to want to beautify myself or cover my flaws in various ways (no matter whether it really did make me beautiful or not). It has perhaps also caused me to seek something more - that of being beautiful inside for I've heard that what makes a person beautiful is his/her inner beauty. What has comforted and brought me through all these years is the reassurance that God loves me for who I am, He wants me to seek to be beautiful in His eyes and that He has made and is continuing to make me beautiful in His eyes because of Christ and the work of His Holy Spirit in me.

I recognise that I may never match up to many others in terms of physical beauty, effervescent character, intelligence, gift of the gap, spiritual maturity etc and have a yearning to match not only other's expectations but my idealism. This acknowledgment is painful and hits the core of many of my insecurities. I've been thinking about this lately and trying to face my idealism and priorities, and wondered as always, what makes a woman beautiful? What is it that makes someone praise-worthy in Man's and God's eyes? I recently chanced upon this sermon by John Piper titled "A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised". It was not just thought provoking, but re-aligned my focus on the role of a woman to fear God by desiring to draw near to Him.

"...Charm is deceitful, beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised..."

Proverbs 31:10-31 describes a woman who seems perfect with qualities worthy to be praised. I look at myself and wonder how one can be like that woman, for it seems impossible? John Piper drew me to the words that seemed centric to the reason why this woman ought to be praised for she "fears the Lord". This woman fears the Lord not by running away from Him but by recognising that He is Sovereign and Lord over her. By recognising that, she responds by fearing the consequences of running from Him and hence stays close to Him and His mercy. Some of the characteristics of a woman who fears the Lord are:

1. She is not anxious about the future

=> "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come" for her trust is in the Lord.

2. She has practical wisdom
=> "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue" because she has hope in the Lord and is not anxious about the future for "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom".

3. She is strong morally, intellectually and physically
=> "She girds her loins with strength and makes her arms strong" for she is able to resist being envious and desiring what she shouldn't have, to want to search for knowledge and wisdom in the Lord, and have confidence and hope in the future.

4. She lives not just for herself but for others, especially her husband if she's married
=> "The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not harm all the days of her life" for she lives as if to the Lord.

5. She reaches out to those who need help
=> "She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hand to the needy" for she is able to draw near to those in need since God has drawn near to her and secured her future.

As I go down the short list, my heart falls in dismay at how I haven't been able to exemplify these characteristics of a woman who fears the Lord. It is true that these reflect how we really are before God. Have I not been anxious about many things? Have I not been careless with my tongue and yearned other knowledge and things more than the knowledge of God? Have I not been envious of others? Have I not thought of myself more than others and not been a good support? Yet, scripture reminds us to fear the Lord for that is the beginning of wisdom.

Dear God, help us to keep our eyes on you, fearing you the way you want us to. Amen.

Sometimes...

Sometimes we question the meaning of life
Sometimes we wonder why God gave us life
Sometimes we grumble at the world's failure
Sometimes we wonder if Jesus really is the saviour

Sometimes we question the meaning of life
Sometimes we crumble when things take a dive
Sometimes we stumble over obstacles along the path
Sometimes we run away when things get rough

Sometimes we question the meaning of life
Sometimes we wonder when we'll ever have a happy life
Sometimes we don't know which path to take
Sometimes we just lack the confidence it takes

Sometimes we ought to question the meaning of life
Sometimes we forget that our questions are devoid of God in our lives
Sometimes we forget the source of life and love
Sometimes we ought to remember what's important are things above

Sometimes we just need to know that our purpose and strength comes not from this world or ourselves
But all the time in and through Christ - the fountain of life in which we dwell

Untamed Tongues

We've been having a series of sermons on the book of James. I've always found James a little hard to understand in that it doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the bible. It seems to be encouraging righteousness through works - what about righteousness by faith and through faith alone which Romans and Paul's letters seemed so vehement about? Well, I'm still trying to understand it through the context of the book... and it really isn't saying that we can be right before God by our works. Rather, I've learnt that James is actually encouraging the readers at that time who are facing trials of various kinds to count it all joy and to remain steadfast in Christ. He is also challenging the readers to check the faith they claim to have. For example in Chapter 3, some of them may aspire to be leaders but are they even displaying the characteristics of a person who's heart has been changed?

"And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.... no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so." James 3:6-10

Harsh words indeed. You who claim to be Christian. You who aspire to be a leader. What have you been doing with your tongue? Have you been using it to praise God every single moment or have you been using it to dishonour Him with words that bring people down, stumble people etc? God doesn't want empty praises, and half of our words. Can we call Him our Lord and Father when we say things that displease Him?

While resting after a jog, I heard a guy using vulgarities with every sentence of his, like salt and pepper to flavour his speech. JX was relating over milo today how the guys in his reservice used alot of vulgarities and the others agreed that army guys use vulgarities with such poetic hilariousness that vulgarity seems to be OK and normal. Chris said that vulgarities in an email hurt him. The looseness of the tongue and the easyness in which we use our words. But are these people the only ones who are guilty of untamed tongues? I for one am guilty of using my words without thought or care to God. The word 's***' sometimes sneaks out of my mouth when I'm feeling really horrid. I 'scold' people stupid this and that at times when I relate frustrations to others. I've said hurtful words to people, even those I love. Even seemingly innocent sentences, conversations and other forms of communication have been used to bring others down and discourage people. What a bad testimony. What a hypocrite. What a sinner...

Indeed, what we say and do are reflections of the state of our hearts. Jesus said "What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person." Mark 7:20-23. What a bad and sad state our hearts are in! How then, can we be right and justified before the righteous and holy God when we all stumbe in many ways and James even went so far as to say that if anyone who does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man? I can't... and I suppose no one can... except Christ. He is the perfect one. He is the one who took our punishment for us and the one who is able to help us as we live in this world where it is so easy to dishonour Him. Help us Lord, to glorify you in the words we say. Spring forth from our hearts words of praise and thanksgiving for this is our desire - to please and glorify you in every area of our lives.

Another start to blogging

I've decided to start blogging again after reading encouraging blogs like footnotesfromthefongster. Over the past few months, I've been caught up with so many things and pre-occupations that my original intention of blogging has been dismissed as just another thing to take up my time. However, I would like to hopefully renew my penning of thoughts to share with others the faith, struggles, joys and thoughts that I have, as well little things which catch my interest. Welcome my anonymous reader, as you follow my accounts of the journey I take to the home called Paradise I've been promised I can look forward to. =)