One of the scars I have from young is that of not being pretty or beautiful... Or at least that's what I heard somebody tell me in my adolescence and what I've thought of myself in comparison to others. In one instance, it has caused me to seek to want to beautify myself or cover my flaws in various ways (no matter whether it really did make me beautiful or not). It has perhaps also caused me to seek something more - that of being beautiful inside for I've heard that what makes a person beautiful is his/her inner beauty. What has comforted and brought me through all these years is the reassurance that God loves me for who I am, He wants me to seek to be beautiful in His eyes and that He has made and is continuing to make me beautiful in His eyes because of Christ and the work of His Holy Spirit in me.
I recognise that I may never match up to many others in terms of physical beauty, effervescent character, intelligence, gift of the gap, spiritual maturity etc and have a yearning to match not only other's expectations but my idealism. This acknowledgment is painful and hits the core of many of my insecurities. I've been thinking about this lately and trying to face my idealism and priorities, and wondered as always, what makes a woman beautiful? What is it that makes someone praise-worthy in Man's and God's eyes? I recently chanced upon this sermon by John Piper titled "A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised". It was not just thought provoking, but re-aligned my focus on the role of a woman to fear God by desiring to draw near to Him.
"...Charm is deceitful, beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised..."
Proverbs 31:10-31 describes a woman who seems perfect with qualities worthy to be praised. I look at myself and wonder how one can be like that woman, for it seems impossible? John Piper drew me to the words that seemed centric to the reason why this woman ought to be praised for she "fears the Lord". This woman fears the Lord not by running away from Him but by recognising that He is Sovereign and Lord over her. By recognising that, she responds by fearing the consequences of running from Him and hence stays close to Him and His mercy. Some of the characteristics of a woman who fears the Lord are:
1. She is not anxious about the future
=> "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come" for her trust is in the Lord.
2. She has practical wisdom
=> "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue" because she has hope in the Lord and is not anxious about the future for "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom".
3. She is strong morally, intellectually and physically
=> "She girds her loins with strength and makes her arms strong" for she is able to resist being envious and desiring what she shouldn't have, to want to search for knowledge and wisdom in the Lord, and have confidence and hope in the future.
4. She lives not just for herself but for others, especially her husband if she's married
=> "The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not harm all the days of her life" for she lives as if to the Lord.
5. She reaches out to those who need help
=> "She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hand to the needy" for she is able to draw near to those in need since God has drawn near to her and secured her future.
As I go down the short list, my heart falls in dismay at how I haven't been able to exemplify these characteristics of a woman who fears the Lord. It is true that these reflect how we really are before God. Have I not been anxious about many things? Have I not been careless with my tongue and yearned other knowledge and things more than the knowledge of God? Have I not been envious of others? Have I not thought of myself more than others and not been a good support? Yet, scripture reminds us to fear the Lord for that is the beginning of wisdom.
Dear God, help us to keep our eyes on you, fearing you the way you want us to. Amen.
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